Uncovering Family Secrets
Many of us begin our genealogical quest after either:
• hearing something exciting about one of our ancestors, or
• if we have the same surname as someone famous – just to see if we might be related.
As we begin our search for our infidel ancestor or our wealthy relative, it is possible to come across some information that we rather wouldn’t have. This could be an ancestor being involved in criminal behaviour; murder, theft, fraud, etc, or something like illegitimacy, adoption or infidelity.
Some families will be unaffected by such a finding, others possibly delighted to detect a bit of colour in their otherwise conservative clan, while still some may be embarrassed and not know what to do with the information. At this point the genealogist becomes the bearer of bad news, and discernment is needed when handling any potentially damaging information. For instance, it could be very hurtful to reveal to someone that their father is not their real father, or to inform them that they were adopted if they don’t already know.
What anyone does with the information they find when doing family history based researched is of course a personal matter. The one doing the research will know their family best, yet could still remain confused as to where to go with the information. At this point it may be wise to consult an older relative, even a professional of some sort. Whatever the decision, it is a personal one, yet should be made with kind consideration.
Where You Might Find Family Secrets
The following are some potential family secrets you may run into:
1. Illegitimacy and Adoption
2. Divorce and Bigamy
3. Poverty
4. Criminal Activity
In this series about family secrets, I’ll cover each of these areas and the records you may use to either verify or disprove them, beginning with illegitimacy and adoption.
Illegitimacy and Adoption
Believe it or not, illegitimacy was not always considered such a big deal. Many members of royalty in the past sired illegitimate children and rather than sweep them under the carpet, they recognized them publicly, even creating official positions for them and bestowing titles upon them. The children of lower class mistresses though not treated so openly or generously, were still cared for and given an education or a military commission in order for them to have an established place in society. These sorts of situations may be revealed while searching through Estate Records. If you come across payments made out of estate accounts to mysterious people, or for lavish gifts, these could point to support for an illegitimate child, or a mistress.
Another clue of illegitimacy is the lack of a father’s name on a birth certificate or an anomaly on a census report. Often a girl’s parents would adopt a child if it was born out of wedlock, yet if the family were poor, they wouldn’t be able to afford that. In such a case, the parents either; searched for the father and made him marry their daughter, or if he wouldn’t marry her, force him to pay a “bastardy bond”, the form of child support of the time. Unfortunately not all men were honourable enough to do either one of those things, and many fled the county or country by joining the army or running away to sea. If searching civil registration you find a marriage that happened a few months before or after the birth of a child, it was usually a forced marriage.
A common option was of course to put a child up for adoption. Unfortunately prior to the twentieth century, little records were kept of adoptions, and most arrangements were either made privately or secretly assisted by the church.
In any case, it’s very exciting to find discrepancies in records or in stories handed down through the generations. Keep an open mind and enjoy the journey to find out about your ancestors. You never know what your research may turn up!
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Thanks for writing this informative post. This is a great starting point for people like me.
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Ive just read your article “Illigitimacy & Adoption” found it very intresting.My dad died as a result of a car accident 1995 my mother in 1986.My two brothers and sis never new who dads parents were we had a number of “aunts” cousins etc.but always a mystery how exactly we were related dad behaved as though they were his family and indeed they shared our surname Law.He often mentioned Isel Hall and the Lawson family who lived there.On the day of his funeral we were talking to a dear family friend who had known dad all his life,she was in service at Isel in 1921 when dad was born,I asked her if she could throw any light on the subject her answer was a bit of a shock.She said now that dad was gone it wouldnt do any harm to tell us he was the son of a maid also in service (died 1950)her name being Amy Law the sister of two “aunties” who lived next door (died in ,60s)he was the result of a leaison between Amy and the lord and master “in the linnen cupboard” although she was 32 at the time, not a slip of a girl.She was packed off to Dumfries to give birth,I have postcards from her to her sisters post dated to confirm she was there at that time.No ref. to any child though.This is where things take a turn.Two years ago I was given a lap top so I decided to have a go at “the tree” eventually,using info from the dear friend which I had no reason to doubt built up 300+ relations.Just prior to Xmas last year talking to my niece who is also into trees she told me my oldest bro.her dad had some papers etc in a drawer that came from my dads house when she looked through them she found a birth cert.with the name Douglas(dads first name) Whitelaw with the same d.o.b.reged Dumfries mams name Elizabeth (clerkess) no dad, witnessed by grandmother Helen Whitelaw.I have someone check records and they cant find any Helen Whitelaws or Elizabeths in the area on census records.The address of the birth is given as 9 Rae street this does exist now flats Ive been trying to find out what it was in 1921.My dilema now is could our friend be wrong is the cert. a true record if so how did Dad come to Cumberland to be brought up by his aunts.Ive been told as you confirm that adoptions weren’t registered till 1927 I have noticed that on my christening cert. dads name is given as Douglas White Law but this is only on mine.My dad was brought up staunch methodist Amys uncle and dad were trustees of the chapel in Blindcrake in the late 1800′s they were all regular chapel goers so I feel sure dad would have been christened.As you see its all most intreguing