What Should You Think About When Choosing a Cemetery for a Spouse or Partner?

Choosing a cemetery for a spouse or partner is something that some of us have to do at one point in our lives. It is not a decision than many take lightly. Sometimes the decision has been made for you but sometimes the decision is entirely up to you. What should you think about and how do you know if the choice you have made is right for the loved one that you are laying to rest as well as for yourself.

Religious Aspects of Choosing a Cemetery

The religious aspects of choosing a cemetery can be straightforward in some cases but not in others. For instance, what if you and a spouse or partner have an interfaith relationship. Not all cemeteries will be all that accommodating depending on the circumstances. If it's important to you to end up next to your spouse or partner, this will be important.

Christian Cemeteries- Christian cemeteries can be very relaxed or very stringent when it comes to their rules about the faith of the individual, and the faith of a spouse or partner. Progressive Christian cemeteries are much more willing to accommodate the couple's needs that conservative church owned cemeteries.

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Jewish Cemeteries- Often Jewish cemeteries need some sort of proof that at least one of the individuals who will be buried in their plots is Jewish. If you or a spouse or partner has not been religiously active in a long time this can be a little harder than you might think. A letter from a verifying Rabbi is often enough, but not all Rabbis are considered to be "verifying." Their own status in the religious community has to be recognized. Just like there are different levels of progressiveness among Christian churches, the same applies to Jewish Synagogues. If you opt for a progressive Jewish Cemetery your chances of acceptance are much higher than a Hassidic one.

Muslim Cemeteries- Many of the Muslim cemeteries prohibit the burial of anyone who is not Muslim unless the circumstances create an "unavoidable" situation. For instance, the child (adult or otherwise) of Muslim man and a non-Muslim woman can still be accepted into a strict cemetery. While there are some Muslin cemeteries that will allow a non-Muslim wife to be buried with her family, there are more that do not allow it.

Sectioned Cemeteries- Sectioned cemeteries are becoming much more popular to help accommodate a world that is growing increasingly tolerant and embracing of interfaith relationships. In a sectioned cemetery you will find a section for each of the major denominations. Exceptions are frequently made to allow couples to be interned together and for family members to be buried alongside one another. Depending on the ownership of the cemetery and the religious connotations, gay couples of different faiths often have the hardest time finding the right cemetery under religious ownership.

Wishes of the Deceased

Choosing a cemetery based on the wishes of the deceased helps to alleviate a lot of the stress and pressure associated with finding the right one. The only complication to this is if they never questioned whether a spouse or a partner could be buried with them based on their religious faith.

If you aren't able to be buried with your spouse or partner based on your religious beliefs you end up having to choose whether to honor the wishes of the deceased or whether to choose a different burial location. The deceased may have expressed a desire, but it might be clear to you that they were less oriented toward a particular denomination. Check to see if other family members are buried there, whether there is a pre-purchased plot, and how comfortable the rest of the family is with changing the location. Sometimes it is more important to honor the wishes of the deceased and other times it becomes more important to end up laying peacefully side by side for eternity.

The Cost

The cost is a significant issue when you're choosing a cemetery. If you are unable to afford the burial plot and other fees you will need to choose a different location. It is a difficult decision but often the wishes of the deceased and the religious location is not the final determining factor. Cost can be.

Aesthetics

When you opt for a cemetery that is beautiful, peaceful, and has many regular visitors you tend to feel more comfortable with your choice of a final resting place. It's not always easy to tell which cemetery will provide you with the best services until you look at the grounds. Clean, healthy looking grounds that are well cared for say a lot about the perpetual care of the grave sites.

The Final Say in Choosing a Cemetery

Choosing a cemetery for a spouse or a partner can require you to think ahead about your own eventual passing. This can be difficult for some people but doing so will help enable you to make a good choice about your loved one's final resting place which will someday be yours as well. You have the final say about where you and your spouse or partner are going to rest and taking the time to fully investigate the various options can help put you in a positive mind frame regarding your final decision. Many spouses and partners that pass on before us may have an idea of what they want, but few have actually thought our or researched all of the relevant details. Always double check to make sure that you can be included in the burial plot if you so desire.

* Choosing a cemetery for a spouse or a partner can have some interesting implications which could require you to make adjustments in the final wishes of the dec