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Words of Condolence Letter for Someone Who Just Lost a Son

The sample letter below is a condolence letter for a friend who has just lost a son. After you read the sample letter, review the following section-by-section guide for how to compose your own condolence letter so that you can create a personal message.

Dearest Friend,

While the loss of a loved one is never easy, even when anticipated, it is most certainly the hardest when they are taken from us too soon. Your recent loss of your son who has left us at such a youthful age is definitely in the category of those hard losses for which there is so painful a reminder of what might have been.

We offer our sincere condolence and deepest sympathy on your loss. May the outpouring of sympathy, the kind acts of friends and strangers and the comfort in knowing that your loss is felt by many, help you through this difficult time.

I ask for God's blessings on you and your wonderful family. May you find the courage and strength to move forward in peace and confidence and in knowing that his was a life well-lived.

Yours In Peace,

Joshua and Family

Before You Begin-Rules of Etiquette to Consider

  1. Keep your letter short but thoughtful.
  2. Don’t be afraid to share a favorite memory of the deceased if you have one.
  3. Be sensitive of religious beliefs, or lack thereof. Remember that everyone deserves sympathy, regardless of their personal or religious beliefs.
  4. Sign with a full name (first and surname). This is good etiquette as it will reduce confusion should there be other relatives or friends with the same first name as you.
  5. Do not discuss financial matters or offer financial help.
  6. Do offer to help in practical ways such as offering to deliver meals or help with chores.

Begin With an Appropriate Greeting

Letters of sympathy and condolences are personal, particularly in regards to the loss of a son. You should always first use the name of the person you are writing to. While the closeness of your relationship will determine your exact phrasing, the following are some suggestions for your greeting:

Dear ________,
My Dear Friend _________,
Dearest __________,
Dear Mrs. __________,
Dear Mr. __________,
Dear __________ Family,

What to Say First in Words of Condolence Letters for a Son

You may find that choosing the first words of your condolence letter can be a daunting task. Try to write from the heart so that your letter will accurately reflect your feelings of sympathy.

In our letter we began with:

While the loss of a loved one is never easy, even when anticipated, it is most certainly the hardest when they are taken from us too soon.

Other appropriate opening sentiments include:

We are so sorry for this terrible loss. You and (son’s name) are in our thoughts and prayers.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your son. May your beautiful memories sustain and bring comfort to you during this difficult season.

Please accept our deepest sympathies. Our prayers are with you during this time.

May your memories of (son’s name) and the love of your family surround you and give you strength and peace in the days ahead.

Mention a Wonderful Memory of the Deceased

When writing words of condolence letters for a son, it can be difficult to find the right words to express your sadness. You may be afraid to upset the parents by bringing up the son’s death. However, mentioning a fond memory of the deceased, as shown in our sample letter, can actually provide comfort to the survivors. Here are some other ways to do this:

  • Your son, _______ was a charming and funny person. He was both a great friend and a great guy. I will always remember the times we spent joking and laughing together.
  • I am shocked and saddened to hear of your loss of _______. He was always the star player of our weekly game night, and we all would fight to have him on our team. We will never forget his great smile.
  • I remember your son fondly as a person who would always go the extra mile. I will greatly miss his extraordinary spirit.
  • _______ was always a good friend to me. I have always admired him and looked up to him as a role model in class. He often spoke of how much his parents meant to him. He was loved by all who knew him.
  • I always enjoyed seeing you and your son interact with one another at our annual company picnic. You had such a comfortable rapport and I could tell that you were very happy spending time together. Though we only met occasionally, I will fondly remember him; my prayers are with you.

How To Offer Help in a Words of Condolences Letter for a Son

Some appropriate ways to offer help are:

  • I'll be bringing over several meals that you can keep in the freezer. That way you can just use them as you need them and you won’t have to worry about cooking.
  • Since I lost ______ I've been attending a weekly support meeting. I'll send you a message about the next one to see if you would like to join me.
  • If you feel comfortable with this, I would like to hire a housekeeper to come in and help you take care of things for a time.
  • _____ and ______ are my days off from work. I would like to take ______’s siblings out to a movie, so I'll call you and arrange a visit on whichever day suits you best.
  • I'll call you in a couple of days so we can go to lunch, or just go on a walk.
  • I want to offer to take care of your pets during this time. I am free to walk them every day after I get off of work.

Close with an Appropriate Sentiment

We closed our sample letter with:

May you find the courage and strength to move forward in peace and confidence and in knowing that his was a life well-lived.

The closing statement is final opportunity to offer sympathy and comfort. Other appropriate phrases to use in a words of condolence letter for a son include:

  • With hope that it helps you to know we care.
  • With true and heartfelt sympathy.
  • With blessings, love and prayers.
  • Know you are not alone.
  • Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • With our deepest and most heartfelt condolences.

Don’t Make These Common Spelling Mistakes

Make sure you avoid these common spelling errors if you are substituting your own words for any in our sample words of condolence letters for a son.

  • Condolense
  • Condolesens
  • Simpathy
  • Preyers
  • Simpothy
  • Simpothie
  • Blesings

Condolence Messages for a Son

Even if you choose to send your condolences via text or email message rather than by letter, you can still include the same sentiments. However, the different format that a text or social media provides means that it is appropriate to make your message shorter than that of a traditional letter. Here are some sample messages that you can use.

Words cannot express how sorry we are for your loss. Please know you and your entire family are in our constant thoughts.

I heard the terrible news about ______. I want to offer you my condolences and let you know that you are in my prayers.

Please know that you have my sincere sympathies in this difficult time. I am so sorry for your loss.

You can choose to send one of these short messages to provide immediate comfort and then send a more traditional letter at a later date as you feel it is appropriate.

Condolence Cards for a Son

If you choose to send flowers or any other gift to the surviving family members, you may be at a loss as to what to put on the card. Here are some sample ideas you can write in a condolence card for a son.

  • May these flowers serve as a reminder of my thoughts and prayers for you.
  • Please know that we are praying for you.
  • May these flowers show you how much we care.
  • Know that you are not alone in this difficult time.
  • We are praying for you.
  • Know that you are in our thoughts.

Words of Condolence Quotes

“Friends are pillars on your porch. Sometimes they hold you up, sometimes they lean on you, and sometimes it’s just enough to know that they are standing by.” Elizabeth Foley

“If the future seems overwhelming, remember that it comes one moment at a time.” Beth Mende Conny

“Like a bird singing in the rain, let grateful memories survive in time of sorrow.” Robert Louis Stevenson

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