Sympathy Flowers – The Importance of Sending Sympathy Flowers
BY MELANIE WALTERS

Sending sympathy flowers to someone who has lost a person dear to them is a traditional gesture of comfort and affection that lets them know that they are not alone at such a tragic time. But have you ever wondered why we send sympathy flowers and not something else? Though some people do send small gifts, flowers are the most common form of expressing sorrow and support to the bereaved. Yes flowers are beautiful – they add a touch of color to an otherwise dour occasion, and their aroma does have therapeutic effects. There is however bona fide scientific evidence that grief can be lightened by the sending of sympathy flowers.

The Harvard University Study of the Effects of Sympathy Flowers

The Harvard study entitled "The Role of Flowers and Plants in the Bereavement Process," had a twofold objective:

1. To comprehend the importance of the role of sympathy flowers and plants in the grieving process and funeral service
2. To ascertain who sends sympathy flowers, when they should be sent, why they are sent, and to contemplate the actual value of sending sympathy
flowers.

The objectives were met by interviewing bereaved persons, grief therapists, and funeral directors. Focus groups were also consulted during the research phase.

The study emphasized the power of flowers in the grieving process, and revealed that they not only have a calming effect on the bereaved, but a fortifying one as well. Large numbers of bereaved persons were interviewed, and more than 50% were adamant that receiving sympathy flowers played an important role in helping them to overcome their grief. Moreover the research showed that flowers not only feed compassion, but also diminish worry and grief. These results make it quite clear that sympathy flowers play an important role in the grieving process, a fact confirmed by the 83% of the consulted grief therapists who took part in the survey.

This is not the only study that has revealed the power of sympathy flowers however. Previous behavioral studies at Rutgers University also showed that flowers can improve emotional well-being, and The Journal of Evolutionary Psychology reported that participants in that study indicated that they felt less depressed and agitated generally, and overall demonstrated a more profound enjoyment of life. Such compelling evidence surely indicates that sympathy flowers can have a profound impact on grief.

Where and When to Send Sympathy Flowers

As with most rituals, the sending of sympathy flowers possesses its own particular etiquette. It is important to know where and when to send them in order to avoid having them arrive at an inappropriate time or place. It is traditional to send sympathy flowers to the funeral home or church where they will be displayed, the address of which will normally be included in the funeral notice. Frequently there is a wake where friends and relatives can pay their respects, and the church or funeral home likes to arrange them before the actual event. If you have too short of notice, you can still send the sympathy flowers to the funeral home before the final visitation. If you are a close friend or relative you may choose to send the flowers directly to the home of the bereaved.

You will want to send your sympathy flowers as soon as you hear of the death. If for some reason the news is delayed however, it is quite appropriate to send sympathy flowers as much as a month after the funeral. This is in fact a commendable way to show the family that you are thinking of them and their lost loved one. If you sent flowers to the church or funeral home, you can still send more sympathy flowers at a later date just to let them know you’re there for them. This is often very comforting to those who lost a person to death suddenly, or to a family member who is taking the death particularly hard.