ObituariesHelp.org
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Planning a funeral can be quite overwhelming considering the emotions, responsibilities and other emotional issues involved. If arrangements are left to the last minute complete chaos, confusion and even hurt feelings and embarrassments can be the result. Of course, you’re not going to make everyone happy at such a solemn event. Aunt Mary will always wonder why you chose to bury Malcolm in that suit, and someone will inevitably complain about the unsuitable music or flowers. While this boorish behaviour cannot be completely avoided, a lot of unnecessary stresses can be circumvented through careful funeral planning.
The most difficult thing to overcome when making funeral arrangements and planning a funeral is the initial grief. Trying to organize such sensitive issues as death certificates and burial details can be very painful for someone close to the deceased. It’s best to have someone either a bit more detached from the situation to at least assist in dealing with the many facets of arranging a funeral.
Of course the ideal scenario is to have a funeral planned many years in advance, but few people do this. When a death does occur suddenly, family and friends are thrown into disarray initially, but cooler heads usually prevail and things get done. Having an awareness of snags you may encounter and the loving support of fellow grievers can help everyone to get through this tender process.
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If you are close enough to the person who died to know their own wishes about their funeral, you’re halfway there. In giving the deceased the type of funeral they wanted you can avoid unnecessary misunderstandings with other relatives or friends. If you are not so close consult those who were, and in the last instance check the will of the deceased. This might involve conferring with a lawyer, but could result in the discovery that the deceased has already made the arrangements.
There is a list of people that need to be informed on the death of someone. Of course friends and relatives are obviously top of the list but others are important as well. The employer of the deceased should be informed if they are not aware. This will ensure that any co-workers who might want to attend the funeral, or even help in some way, are alerted. The family doctor can help with the death certificate and informing any insurance companies involved. Then there are any social organizations the deceased belonged to such as sports teams or lodges etc.
An unfortunate part of funerals is that business is involved, and a bit of shopping around to find affordable solutions might be necessary. Of course if you’re using the traditional funeral home used by your family you won’t need to do this. If not though, check with at least two or three funeral homes before making your decision. Of course price should not be the only factor involved in your decision, but it is a necessary consideration.
You’ll need to decide what kind of funeral you’ll be having – traditional or other, and the location. You won’t want to alienate friends or relatives by having the service too far away or in too small a location to accommodate those who would like to attend. The casket will need to be chosen and decisions made as to whether to have it opened or closed at the service need to be made. Flowers, music and transportation will also need to be selected and organized, and pall bearers and those who will give the eulogy and perform any other dialogue will have to be selected.
Most of all be gracious enough to accept the help of any who offer it. In the spirit of Ecclesiastes 4:12, “a cord of three strands cannot be easily broken”.