Points to Consider When Planning a Funeral

There are many things to take into consideration when planning a funeral, but having answers to some basic questions can help to make the process a little easier on yourself and others. Here are some important points to consider:

1. Did  the deceased had any desires regarding their funeral arrangements
2. Will this be a burial, cremation or a combination of both?   
3. Have you chosen a burial site, and have legal requirements have been met?
4. Will there be a viewing, and where?
5. Have you decided on a funeral director, do you need to research before choosing?
6. Will you involve family or friends in making the arrangements, or the funeral service itself, and if so, which ones?

Checking off the list of questions above will ensure that the basic arrangements for the funeral are in place. Once you have satisfactorily answered those questions, you can move on to the more intricate matters such as:

• When and Where to hold the Funeral
• Who should attend
• How Much to spend
• How to pay for it

When and Where to Have the Funeral

Believe it or not funeral arrangements need not be as restrictive as they are believed to be. For instance, I know of a couple whose father insisted they take their planned vacation, even though he was on his deathbed. Sadly he died two days before their scheduled journey, but they respected his wishes and went on their holiday, without having to abandon his funeral ceremony. They simply arranged for the deceased to be cremated during the first week of their holiday, and held a funeral ceremony with his ashes on their return.

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The above example is of course not the norm. I used it simply to illustrate that you needn’t be boxed into a corner when making funeral arrangements. Unless you’re bound by religious or family rituals or traditions, there is room to chose a time and place that suits you best. Up to two weeks after a death is considered acceptable, any longer than that and people start to feel like life is on hold until after the funeral.

Who Should Attend?

Fortunately funerals aren’t occasions when invitations need to be sent and sitting arrangements considered. Usually anyone who knew the deceased and is willing and able to attend is welcome. If there is a need for a private ceremony, holding a public memorial service after the funeral has occurred would be a suitable arrangement.

Sometimes people wonder whether it is suitable for children to attend; should they be “exposed to” or “put through this” is often debated. These decisions should rather be left to parents. They will know if their child is old enough to be introduced to death, or young enough not to be affected by it. Parents who do decide to bring children should instruct them on some basic funeral etiquette before attending.

How Much to Spend?

Funeral expenses depend on a variety of factors, what type of funeral you want, where you live, and of course how much you can afford. When you are making this decision, consider these things:

• What funds are realistically available
• What is the most appropriate type of funeral to have
• A realistic assessment of what the funeral you’re planning will cost

How to Pay for the Funeral

If there are no immediate funds available to pay for a funeral, it may be possible to get a loan from the bank, especially if the deceased had life insurance. If there is money in the estate of the deceased, the funeral can be funded in that way. Be aware that usually the person who takes responsibility for arranging the funeral also is expected to pay for it. There are also government agencies and organisations such as Veterans associations and unions that may be able to assist you.