Putting Your Heart into Organising a Funeral Ceremony
When beginning to consider the many options of the type of funeral ceremony that is appropriate for the bereaved and their family, or yourself, it is useful to consider some basic guidelines. Having a simple outline of what a funeral is meant to achieve can help to break down the planning into smaller segments so that:
- You’re not overwhelmed, and
- Everyone is happy
When attempting to sort out the order of readings, the choice of hymns and other components of the service, give good thought as to:
- Will the service help the bereaved to be comforted and give them an opportunity to reflect on and share their loss?
- Will it recognize the deceased, giving honour to their life in an honest and compassionate way? Remember that the deceased will have meant different things to different people.
- Will the religious and traditional beliefs of both the deceased and their loved ones be satisfied?
- Will it impart hope to the bereaved and help empower them to continue living hopefully in spite of their loss?
How important each question is depends on the individual personalities and circumstances of the people involved, but the basic principles will apply to a diverse range of situations. The bereaved always need to be comforted, and the deceased always should be remembered fondly and with respect.
- More Funeral Arrangements Tips and Resources You Might Find Helpful:
- Online Funeral Resources - For helping with arrangements, planning and saving money
- Funeral Planning Guide and Checklist E-Book (Now Free) - Save thousands of dollars while still paying your deepest respects for the deceased.
- The Basics of How to Organize a Funeral - Learn how to get organized easily and quickly
- How do I Write a Eulogy - Step-by-step guide to writing a thoughtful and meaningful eulogy
- Choosing the Right Funeral Director - Learn how to choose the right funeral director
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A Ceremony with Heart and Soul
When the values, convictions, passions, and spirituality of the deceased are reflected in the funeral service given to them, it is good evidence that heart and soul were put into its planning. The ceremony is primarily about the person who has died, and should always give tribute to them. Playing music they would have loved, having their dearest friends or family members giving readings and eulogies, are some of the ways that heart and soul can be reflected in the organisation of their farewell ceremony.
The planning of a funeral can almost be thought of as scripting or designing, but this should be done with an air of practicality and sensitivity. You don’t want to make a funeral too flashy or so “far-out” that it offends anyone attending, but if the deceased was a colourful personality, a dash of pizzazz might bear them tribute. Always consider the needs of family members, there will regularly be different views as to what is fitting and what is not. But we need good funeral services to help us comprehend our loss and the multitude of emotions that come with it.
There’s nothing that says a funeral service cannot be accompanied by the comfort of tradition and the inspiration of something new. A ceremony that reflects and manifests the multiplicity of religious and spiritual views and creeds of the deceased and their family is possible and appropriate in commemorating the life of the person who has died.
The Need for Connection
There is nothing worse than after leaving a funeral, or experiencing in the weeks after, a feeling of incompleteness. Feelings of anger, emptiness and frustration may occur if somehow the funeral ceremony fails to connect us on an intimate level to the loved one we have lost. By not taking control of the organisation from the beginning, we run the risk of leaving the funeral ceremony suspecting that perhaps the life of the deceased has been undervalued and dismissed without feeling by a stranger who never knew them.
The responsibility of organisation may feel overwhelming if you have never done anything of the sort, but many different ceremonies have worked well for many people. Those who took part in the arranging have experienced a great sense of fulfilment after the fact that has helped them immensely in dealing with their grief. Knowing that they took part in planning a ceremony that both honoured their loved one and comforted those who came to remember him or her, made it much easier to say goodbye.