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Sample Letter of Sympathy for Your Friend’s Husband

This Sample Letter of Sympathy for Your Friend’s Husband lends emotional support to the widow from a long-time friend.  Although the husband in this situation has died from an illness, you can use this sample letter of sympathy in many situations by changing the details of his death.  You might also want to add your own expressions of imagining how your friend is feeling.  Note that, by only imagining what the widow feels, you acknowledge her pain without assuming that you know her exact feelings or experience.  Depending on the woman’s situation, you might also make a different offer to close the letter, such as bringing a meal or offering to take the children for an afternoon.  Feel free to adapt this sample letter of sympathy for your own use, as you seek to comfort your friend in the loss of her spouse.

Sample Letter of Sympathy for Your Friend’s Husband

Dear Jenny,

Steve and I were so saddened to hear of John’s passing. When we stopped by last month, we had no idea how sick he really was. We are so terribly sorry for your great loss.

I heard about how hard you worked taking care of him, and I know he must have appreciated you and loved you all the more for that. How devastated you must feel right now! From what I have heard, you and his doctors did everything possible to save his life. And that’s all anyone can ever do. Take comfort in that fact and know that you should have no regrets.

It seems so senseless for John to have been taken from you and the children. I’m wondering if you might feel cheated in a way—or robbed. Of course, I really can’t know what you are feeling. I can only imagine the pain, anger, frustration, helplessness….All I know is that you should allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel right now. Do the things you need to do to survive and to take care of your children. Don’t worry about what anyone else thinks.

Above all, take care of yourself. Take time to relax. Take time for grieving. May your faith sustain you, and may God give you strength to carry on each day as you make so many difficult decisions.

I realize that you probably don’t feel like talking much right now. So I am going to wait for a few days before calling you. But please know that I am here if you do want to talk—any time. I am thinking of you and praying for you.

Whenever you are ready, I’d love to come see you and take you out for lunch or for a cup of tea.

Your friend always,


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