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Words of Condolence to Write in a Letter for a Husband

Losing a spouse is one of the most painful losses a person can experience. Whether they have just been married a short time or been a couple for many years, it is a tragic loss that many people cannot understand. It can be difficult to find the right words in such a situation. Below you can read a sampler letter of a condolence letter for a husband. Following the sample, we have provided a section-by-section breakdown of how to compose words of condolence letters for husbands so you can put together your own personal message.

Dear Margaret,

Henry and I would like to express our deepest sympathy for the loss of John. We hope that your wonderful memories of him will bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time. We are thinking of you and praying for you every day.

We feel blessed to have known John as a good friend and fellow church member. He made us feel welcome when we moved here more than 20 years ago. Who knew that when he shook our hands at that first church service that we would continue to be friends these many years later? We were a young couple with our first child and had never been away from home before. His warm welcome made us know that we had found the right place. Both of you made us feel so much a part of the church and the community and eased our homesickness those first few weeks.

We will always be grateful to John for helping us fix up our first house since that's all we could afford in those days. Even after we improved our situation, he was constantly helping with small projects and giving good advice. Anytime we saw John, he would provide funny stories about the latest antics of the kids and later the grandkids. I know how special family was to him and how proud he was of everyone.

Please let us know if we can do anything to help you or your family during this time. We will miss John very much and consider ourselves fortunate to have been considered among his friends.

With sympathy,


Before You Begin - Rules of Etiquette to Consider

  1. Keep your letter short but thoughtful
  2. Consider mentioning a special or funny memory of the deceased if you have one
  3. Respect religious beliefs. Regardless of beliefs, they still need to hear words of comfort and sympathy.
  4. Sign with a full name (first and surname). This is good etiquette as there may be other relatives or friends with the same first name as you.
  5. Do not offer financial help
  6. Don’t mention money the deceased may have owed you. This can be dealt with after the grieving period has passed.
  7. Do offer to help in other ways such as offering to cook a nice meal for the surviving family members, or helping with chores

Begin With an Appropriate Greeting

Letters of sympathy and condolences are personal and can provide comfort to the grieving as if you were there with them. You should first mention the name of the person you are addressing. Depending on how close you were with the husband or his surviving wife some of the ways you can do that are:

Dear _______,
My Dear Friend _______,
Dearest _______,
Dear Mrs. _______,
Dear _______ Family,
Dear Family _______,

* Condolence Letter Writing Tip: If you knew the deceased, but not the family, address the letter to the closest family member, such as the spouse or eldest child. Also, if you did not know the deceased, address the card or letter to your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance.

What to Say First in Words of Condolence Letters for a Husband

Choosing the right words to include in your own letter can be a challenging task, especially if you did not know the husband well. Just write from your heart so that your letter sounds like something you would say in person. It should reflect the nature of your relationship with the bereaved and be sincere.

In our letter we began with:

Henry and I would like to express our deepest sympathy for the loss of John. We hope that your wonderful memories of him will bring you comfort and peace during this difficult time. We are thinking of you and praying for you every day.

Other openings that are appropriate for this occasion include:

My deepest condolences to you. So sorry to hear of the passing of your husband _______. I will keep you in my prayers.

We are so sorry for your loss. You have our most heartfelt sympathy and are in our thoughts and prayers.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your husband. May your beautiful memories sustain and bring comfort during this time of grief.

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a full and happy life.

Please accept our deepest sympathies. Our prayers are with you during this time.

Mention a Special Memory of the Deceased

When writing words of condolence letters for a husband, it is appropriate to mention a special memory that you have of the deceased or the couple. These memories can actually provide comfort to the bereaved as they share in your memories. Here are some other ways to do so:

  • John will be greatly missed. I can't remember a Saturday morning that he wasn't at our men's breakfast. He always had a friendly greeting and you never knew when he would bring in someone new. I don't think I ever met a friendlier person than John.
  • I remember when John took me under his wing at work. He helped me get oriented by telling me helpful tips like how to get the old cranky copier to work and who made the best coffee. His positive attitude is one reason I enjoyed that first job so well.
  • I can't believe that John is no longer with us. I know you must be grieving deeply. I remember how much he doted on you when we would go out to dinner. He was so devoted to you and his family. I know it will be hard to carry on, but I hope your memories provide some measure of comfort.
  • I never knew your husband, but I know he must have been a wonderful man. You always acted like a blushing bride even after nearly 30 years of marriage. It was easy to tell that you had a happy home, and you were always anxious to leave work every day to get back to your family. I know this is a deep loss for you.
  • I'm so sorry to hear of John's passing. He and I were best friends in college and even back then I knew he was someone special to have in your life. We lost touch for many years after we went our separate ways, but renewed our friendship online thanks to Facebook. He was so proud of his family and often spoke of you when we chatted. He was an outstanding man that I am proud to have known.

If You Like You Can Offer Help in a Words of Condolences Letter for a Husband

Some appropriate ways to offer help are:

  • I’ll prepare a bunch of meals that you can keep in the freezer. That way you can just thaw them out and heat them up as you need them.
  • On _____ I’m going into town. I’ll give you a call first to see if there is anything you need.
  • I know there are some things that ______ used to take care of around the house. Don’t worry about them, after the funeral I’ll get a team together to get them done.
  • Since I lost _____ I attend regular support meetings. I have one on _____, I’d really like for you to join me.
  • Don’t worry about your pets. My kids will come by before and after school to feed them.
  • I’m going to _____ on _____ night. I’ll pick you up at _____ and we can go together

Close with an Appropriate Sentiment

We closed our letter with:

With sympathy,

These final words of sympathy can provide a final way for you to express your concern. Other phrases you can use to end words of condolence letters for a husband are:

  • We hope you know how much we care.
  • With sincere and heartfelt sympathy.
  • With blessings, love and prayers.
  • May these flowers express what our words never will.
  • Know that you are on our minds during this time.
  • With our deepest and most sincere condolences.

Don’t Make These Common Spelling Mistakes

Makes sure you avoid these common spelling mistakes if using your own words for any in our sample words of condolence letters for a husband.

  • Condolense
  • Condolesens
  • Simpathy
  • Simpathie
  • Preyers
  • Blesings
  • Simpothy
  • Simpothie

Condolence Messages for a Husband

It can be quicker and easier to send an email or private message rather than writing a traditional letter. If you choose to send your sympathies in a text or email message rather than a letter of condolence for a husband, you can still say something similar. It is appropriate to make it shorter, especially for a text or social media message. Here are some examples that you can use.

I just heard about ______'s death. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts. I know you will miss him greatly, but know that you are not alone.

I heard from ______ that you lost your husband. I want you to know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers during this time.

I just heard about the death of ______. I want to offer my heartfelt condolences. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

You can send one of these messages to provide immediate comfort and then send a traditional letter at a later time if you feel it is appropriate.

Condolence Cards for a Husband

If you are sending flowers or another gift to the wife, you may wonder what to put on a card to show sympathy. Here are a few ideas that you can use for your own condolence cards for someone's husband:

  • May these flowers serve as an expression of my sympathy for you and your family.
  • Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers during this time.
  • May these flowers let you know that we care.
  • You are in our thoughts and prayers.
  • May God be with you and give you comfort as you grieve.

Words of Condolence Quotes

"I will not insult you by trying to tell you that one day you will forget. I know as well as you that you will not. But, at least, in time you will not remember as fiercely as you do now – and I pray that that time may be soon." – From Ross by Terence Rattigan

"The boundaries between life and death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where one ends and where the other begins?" Edgar Allen Poe

"Life and death are but phases of the same thing, the reverse and obverse of the same coin. Death is as necessary for man's growth as life itself." Mahatma Gandhi

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