Words of Condolence to Write in a Letter for a Newly Married Spouse

Dear Jill,

I just heard the news of Rob's death. To say I'm at a loss for words is an understatement. I cannot imagine how much more unreal this must feel to you.

It seems like only yesterday that you were beginning your new life as a happy bride with big plans for the future. And now to be facing that future alone must seem almost unbearable. I clearly remember the excitement that you felt on that day. And the huge grin on Rob's face as you walked down the aisle is imprinted on my memory forever. There were numerous comments about how you two made the perfect couple.

Even though you were only married for such a short time, you used those times to build many special memories that will carry you through the coming days. While the time you had together ended all too soon, you used each moment in the best way possible. You loved each other and dedicated each day to making new memories that you could cherish forever. In times like this, it reminds us all to live our lives to the fullest and to never fail to let others know how much they mean to us. Even though it seems impossible now, it is the love that you two shared that will give you the strength to carry on and one day plan for the future again.

Until then you have my unwavering support and love,

Denise

1. Keep your letter short but thoughtful.
2. Try to mention a fond or funny memory of the deceased if you have one.
3. Respect religious beliefs. Be sensitive to what others believe and how they may be dealing with the loss. Whatever their belief, they still deserve sympathy.
4. Sign with a full name (first and surname). This is good etiquette as there may be other relatives or friends with the same first name as you.
5. Do not offer financial help.
6. Don’t mention money the deceased may have owed you. This can be dealt with after the grieving period has passed.
7. Do offer to help in other ways such as offering to cook a nice meal for the surviving family members, or helping with chores.

Letters of sympathy and condolences should convey a personal message, and so you should first mention the name of the person you are writing to. Depending on how close you are with the surviving spouse some of the ways you can do that are:

Dear _______,
My Dear Friend _______,
Dearest _______,
Dear Mrs. _______,
Dear Mr. _______,
Dear _______ Family,
Dear Family _______,

* Condolence Letter Writing Tip: If you knew the deceased, but not the spouse, you can address the letter to the entire family. Also, if you did not know the deceased, address the card or letter to your friend, co-worker, or acquaintance.

Choosing the right words to include in your own letter can be a challenging task. Make sure you choose words that are from the heart so that your letter reflects the nature of your relationship with the bereaved.

In our letter we began with:

I just heard the news of Rob's death. To say I'm at a loss for words is an understatement. I cannot imagine how much more unreal this must feel to you.

Other appropriate opening sentiments for such a letter are:

My most heartfelt condolences to you. So sorry to hear of the passing of _______. I will keep you in my prayers.

We are so sorry for your loss. You have our deepest sympathy and are in our thoughts and prayers.

My deepest condolences on the loss of your spouse. May your beautiful memories sustain and bring comfort during this unhappy season.

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

Please accept our deepest sympathies. Our prayers are with you as you deal with your grief.

When writing words of condolence letters for a newly married spouse, mentioning a fond memory of the deceased as we did on our example letter can provide much needed comfort and help the surviving spouse know they are not alone even though they hadn't been married long. These memories can help them with the pain of losing their loved one. Here are some other ways to do so:

• I remember when I first heard you were getting married. I couldn't believe that you would be settling down and then I saw ________. It was obvious why you didn't want to let this one slip away. The right person can change your point of view and even in such a short time, ________ made you a better person.
• I never got a chance to meet you since I had to miss the wedding, but _______ told me so much about you that I feel like I know you. Even though you had a short time together, you are already like family to me.
• Yours was a whirlwind courtship and wedding, but it is easy to see that you two were meant for each other. I'd never seen anyone look as happy on the wedding day as __________. He knew he'd found an angel and he wasn't letting you go. While you are saddened by this loss, I hope you are also comforted by his love and devotion.
• I know we haven't kept in touch as much as I would have liked, but I followed your courtship and wedding on Facebook. I never saw a lovelier bride than yours and I know how happy she made you. I just wanted to let you know I was thinking of you during this time.

Some appropriate ways to offer help are:

• I’ll prepare a bunch of meals that you can keep in the freezer. That way you can just reheat them in the microwave as you need them.
• On _____ I’m going into town. I’ll stop by your house first to see if there is anything you need.
• I'll give you a call next week and we can set up a time to go out to lunch.
• I noticed there are a few things that need doing around the house. Don’t worry about them, after the funeral I’ll get a team together to get them done.
• Since I lost _____ I attend regular support meetings. I have one on _____, I’d really like it if you came along sometime.
• I have _____ and _____ off, so I’ll pick you up and we can go for a walk on whichever day suits you.
• I'll call you in a couple of days so you can come over for dinner. We can watch some of our favorite old movies.
• I’m going to _____ on _____ night. I’ll pick you up at _____ and we can go together.

We closed our letter with:

Until then you have my unwavering support and love,

Use these final words of sympathy to end the letter in a comforting way. Other phrases you can use to end words of condolence letters for a newly married spouse are:

• We hope you can feel our support and love.
• With warm and sincere sympathy.
• With blessings, love and prayers.
• May these flowers express what our words never will.
• Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
• May God's grace sustain you in this time.

Makes sure you avoid these common spelling mistakes if substituting your own words for any in our sample words of condolence letters for a newly married spouse.

• Condolense
• Condolesens
• Simpathy
• Simpathie
• Preyers
• Blesings
• Simpothy
• Simpothie

It can timelier to send condolences in a text message or email for the recipient to receive them sooner. If you choose to send a text or email message rather than a letter of condolence for a newly married spouse, you can say something similar to what you would include in a letter. It is appropriate to make it shorter, especially for a text or social media message. Here are some examples that you can use.

I just heard about ______'s death. Please know you and your family are in my thoughts.

I heard from ______ that you lost your spouse. I want to extend my sympathies to you and the family. Let me know if you need me to run errands or watch the house for you.

I just heard about the death of ______. I want to offer my sincere condolences. I'll give you a call next week to check in.

You can send one of these messages to provide immediate comfort and then send a traditional letter at a later time if you feel it is appropriate.

If you are sending flowers or another gift to the surviving spouse, you may wonder what to put on a card to offer sympathy. Here are a few ideas that you can use for your own condolence cards for someone's spouse:

• May these flowers serve as an expression of my sympathy for you and your family.
• Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers during this time.
• May these flowers let you know that we care.
• You are in our thoughts during this time.
• May God give you peace.

"It's the circle of life, and it moves us all, through despair and hope, through faith and love, 'til we find our place, on the path unwinding." From The Lion King

"We sometimes congratulate ourselves at the moment of waking from a troubled dream: it may be so the moment after death." Nathaniel Hawthorne