Words of Condolence Letter for a Mother

Dear John,

I just heard about your mom. I am so sorry and I want you to know I am thinking of you and what you and your family must be going through right now. Please accept my condolences. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.

I'm sorry I never had a chance to meet your mother, although we spoke on the phone several times. In those conversations I was able to feel just how much she loved you even though she was thousands of miles away. It truly broke her heart that she couldn't travel to be with you and spend more time with you. She always talked about how much she appreciated all the cards and letters and videos you sent to her. Even though distance kept you apart, it was obvious that you still had a strong relationship.

I am sorry I won't be able to make it to the funeral to convey my condolences in person. When you get back we can get together for a memorial dinner here. I'll call you and make all of the arrangements.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

Kate

1. Keep your letter short but thoughtful.
2. Mention one of your favorite memories of the deceased if you have one.
3. Be respectful of religious beliefs. Try to remember that everyone deserves sympathy, regardless of their beliefs.
4. Sign with your full name (first and surname). Not only is this is good etiquette, it will also prevent confusion regarding relatives or friends with the same first name as you.
5. Do not to discuss any financial matters or make offers of financial help.
6. Offer practical help such as offering to cook meals or help out with household chores.

Letters of sympathy and condolences are very personal in nature. Therefore, proper etiquette dictates that you should always first use the name of the person you are writing your letter to. The specific nature of your relationship to the recipient will help you to determine the exact phrasing that should be used. Here are some sample suggestions for your greeting:

Dear ________,
My Dear Friend _________,
Dearest __________,
Dear Mrs. __________,
Dear Ms. __________,
Dear Mr. __________,
Dear __________ Family,

It may be difficult for you to get started on your condolence letter for a mother. Sometimes the most challenging part is choosing the first words of your condolence letter. Just write from the heart so that your letter genuinely reflects the nature of your relationship with the bereaved.

In our letter we began with:

I just heard about your mom. I am so sorry and I want you to know I am thinking of you and what you and your family must be going through right now. Please accept my condolences. I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you.

Other appropriate opening sentiments include:

I am so sorry to hear the news about your mother. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers.

My deepest condolences to you. Words cannot express the how sorry I am to hear about (mother’s name). I will keep you in my prayers.

We just heard about your loss. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and your entire family. May your beautiful memories sustain and bring comfort to you during this difficult season.

My heart is filled with sadness for your loss. Please accept my deepest condolences and know that my thoughts are with you during this time.

May your memories of (mother’s name) sustain and strengthen you as you navigate the difficult days ahead. Please accept our condolences.

You have my deepest sympathies. My prayers are with you during this time.

May your hearts soon be filled with wonderful memories of joyful times together as you celebrate a life well lived.

When writing words of condolence letters for a mother, it can be hard to find just the right words to express your sadness. You may fear saying the wrong thing, or worry about bringing more pain to the family. However, as our sample letter demonstrates, mentioning a fond memory of the deceased and calling them by name can actually provide a measure of comfort to the bereaved. If you can, try to share a favorite memory or story about the deceased. Here are some sample ideas to help you with your letter:

• _______ was a kind and gentle woman. She had such a spirit of wisdom and was always able to give me just the right advice for any situation I faced. I feel truly blessed to have known her and will miss her dearly.
• I am shocked and saddened to hear of the devastating loss of your mother, _______ was always the first person in the office and the last person to leave. Her hard-working attitude was an inspiration to us all.
• I have such fond memories of _______. We grew up together and were almost inseparable until we went to college and she moved across the country with your father. Even though we have never met in person, I feel like I know you because always shared such great stories about you in her annual letter . I will truly miss her unique spirit.
• I am sorry to hear about the loss of your mother, _______ .Though I never had the chance to actually meet her, I know how influential she has been in your life, and how special she was to you. Please know that my prayers are with you.
• Our family has always enjoyed having _______ as our neighbor. Your mother always had a smile and a wave for everyone on the street. We are grateful that we had the opportunity to get to know one another at our neighborhood block party, so many years ago. We will greatly miss her friendly face.

Some appropriate ways to offer help are:

• We will be dropping off several meals that you don’t have to worry about cooking. You can just keep in the freezer and use them as you need or want them.
• I attend a weekly support meeting ever since I lost ______. I'll send you an email with the details about the group in case you would ever like to join me.
• I would like to help you out with your household chores. I'll call you and arrange a time on whichever day suits you best.
• I’m going shopping on _______ and will pick up a few things for you and drop them off on my way home.
• I'll call you in a couple of days to see if you would like to go for a walk at a time that suits you.

We closed our sample letter with:

My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time.

The closing statement is perhaps one of the most important parts of any condolence letter. It is the final opportunity within the letter to offer your sympathies. Other phrases that can be appropriate to use in a words of condolence letter for a mother include the following:

• With prayers for strength to face these challenging days.
• With hope it helps you to know we are thinking of you.
• With warm and heartfelt sympathy.
• With all of our blessings, love and prayers.
• Please know you are not alone.
• Know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.
• With our deepest and heartfelt condolences.

Be sure to avoid these common spelling mistakes if substituting any of your own words for those in our sample words of condolence letters for a mother. Remember to check your letter for spelling mistakes prior to mailing. Here are some of the most common spelling errors:

• Condolense
• Condolesens
• Simpathy
• Simpothy
• Simpothie
• Preyers
• Blesing

You can also choose to send your condolences via text or email message rather than by letter. While you can still include the same kind of sentiments as with a traditional letter, the format of a text or social media message often restricts you to a shorter message. When sending a condolence message for a mother via text or social media, it is appropriate to make your message shorter. Here are some sample ideas that you can use:

Words can’t express how sorry I am for your loss. You and your entire family are in my thoughts and prayers.

I was so shocked to hear the sad news about ______. Please accept my deepest sympathies; you are in my prayers.

I’m sorry for your loss. Please know that you have my condolences in this difficult time.

My deepest condolences to you. So sorry to hear of the passing of dear ______.

You can send one of these short messages immediately to provide comfort and sympathy. Later you can then send a more traditional condolence letter as you feel it is appropriate.

You may want to send flowers or another type of condolence gift to the family of the deceased. You will want to include a condolence card for a mother along with your flowers or gift. If you are at a loss for what to write, try any of the following ideas:

• May these flowers serve as a token of my sympathy for you.
• May this (type of gift) be a reminder of my thoughts and prayers for you.
• May these flowers express what words never will.
• Know that you are in our prayers.
• May these flowers show you just how much we care.
• Please know that we are always here for you. You don’t have to face this alone.
• We are praying for you and will keep you in our thoughts.
• With our deepest and most heartfelt condolences.

“As a well spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.” Leonardo DaVinci

“For death is no more than a turning of us over from time to eternity.” William Penn

“Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality.” Emily Dickinson